*cackle*

The ickle high schoolers can't stand thinking they're wrong.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
And Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again

It's pudding time, children.

Can't sleep, right. I'm almost 80, but I don't feel like -fuck too many skype messages- going on WoW.

I feel like I'm going insane. I need to be able to sleep when necessary, but that's becoming more and more of an issue. Fucking hell. I'm going to sleep through the rest of today, aren't I?

Mayhap I should just stay the fuck up for the rest of the day.

That'd probably reset my sleep schedule, but it'd still fuck me over tomorrow, which I'm supposed to be doing... Something. Fucking hell. Oh, fuck it, it's with my mom anyways. Stupid whore.

Fucking streamed for god damn forever.

Yashypoo got way too fucking drunk. Poor poop. He didn't -actually- get really drunk, I just like hyperbolizing. But it was humorous, he kept slurring and couldn't give directions fast enough. It'd be like,

Driver chick: *passes street*
Yash: Oh, turn... there... Er...
Driver chick: ... Right, thanks.

He's such a cutie. =)

I think about him and I feel better. A bit, a little.

Fuck my life, my god damn mom is an idiot.

Might have to move out.

Fucking hell.

Oh yeah, the fucking stream.

--------------------------------------------------

( Holy balls wtf am I doing. )

--------------------------------------------------

( Lyrics, fucking hell. Too much shit. )

--------------------------------------------------

I keep having these helling thoughts about losing Brad.

He had this helling dream about me killing him. Or hurting him. Or something.

I'm totes learning the Pokemon G/S/C Champion battle theme.

>:D

Sheet music. There's also a guitar pro version, but I'm too lazy to put that one up.

I'm also starting a guild on Elune US that'll eventually improve the server as a whole. If you want in, give me a shout!

I wore a skirt willingly for the first time the other day. >.> Shut up. I'm not a girl, you just think I am.

Definitely going to test out a three-spec for my mage.

I have a social life, wtf?

I want to do something creative, but all I can muster up the energy for is playing guitar. I'd rather be playing drums, but I need to make room for my kit, which means cleaning up my abysmally small room, which means x_x.

I think I'll go find some RP now.

Okay.

So John and Urian are pissed at WoW, Pat's getting a car, and... ... Isn't this supposed to be about me? XD

Okay.

Okay.

Um, I'm feeling warm and fuzzy?

I'm going crazy about Rev 22:20, a song from Puscifer. You can listen to it here, although the site is NSFW. It's in the music player at the top.

Also, mum's being shitty about my classes.

• So, I've just listened to "What I've Done" by Linkin Park.
  
  Can I say I'm a little impressed? I mean, this might be the Spike Shooter talking, but yeah.
  
  I'm not saying it's a great song. I'm not saying Linkin Park is a great band. Nor am I saying to go out and buy Minutes to Midnight; I've only heard one song, one that I'll probably forget within two weeks. However, I've got to say on a purely Linkin Park standpoint that they've really stepped it up with the vocals. He's not some crazy singer, but his singing is at least bearable now, with a softness that I can actually listen to without gagging myself with a spork.
  
  However, I wasn't impressed at all with the instruments. Sure, the flow of them together became a little better, but the individuals simply didn't show too much talent, especially the piano--From what I could tell, it was the same thing over and over, just a single measure. Come on, bring in some complexity with the instruments!
  
  Overall, the song was okay, but not something I'd listen to more than a few times.



• Now, I've been on my site--I've got a new GUI and three new tutorial article things up. I don't even know what to call them anymore. I'm thinking articles, though. But, yeah. If you want to see them, here is the listing. The new ones are "Remember The Fracking Ratings!" "Committing to an RPG," and "What Kind of RPer Are You?"



• One last thing? I thought June 29th was Pat's birthday, and said so.
  
  JuLY 29th.
  
  Epic fail. x_x



• Just one last thing. Oh my god, this post on brps is made of SUCH MASSIVE WIN. Do not pass up if you RP at all. Omfg, YES.

Now, back to work! *skips off*

I'm still a bit in disbelief that NIN actually has their entire new album up for people to listen to.

I want it now. XD

Speaking of songs, I wrote two songs. Yeah. I know. OMG. What is she doing. She's a story writer. Wtf this is gonna be weird.

XD Exactly what I'm thinking. Especially after rereading. Memories is a little emo-y, while Weakness is more... Dunno.

( Memories )

( Weakness )

I'm going to see Tool at the USF Sundome. May 29th at 8.

I have fucking died.

(Please leave a beep when you hear the message. BEEP!)

o.O Wtf?

HOLY SHIT The Grudge is the best song ever. Well, no, but it owns. Especially with Danny Carey drumming. Holy shit. Especially at the end, you can really hear him going crazy. Holy shit.

Someone tell me why I stopped listening to Cheville, again?

Though, someone random who posted on the internet was right. It does seem like they're trying to emulate a bit of Tool, at least with the vocals. Just a bit, though. The music behind it, no. Cheville's less bass reliant. I hardly hear it. Though, they leave the instruments in the background somewhat, something Tool would... never do. And Tool... you can hear the bass so much. So. So much. I hear the bass in their songs, and I just think... classic fracking Tool.

Thinking of Tool, I heard one or two King Crimson songs, one of Tool's huge influences. I think I remember hearing a bit of something that sounded like Tool... but not much. Though, they are ok from what I heard. Didn't hear much, though, and I didn't remember it.

The song Jeremy by Pearl Jam is sad to me. Really sad. For some reason, it reminds me of Cuthbert. But, really. Whoever would be in Jeremy's shoes, I feel sorry for. It might really not seem that bad, but loneliness is actually a pretty bad thing to put a child through. Not having any friends, being picked on at school, having parents that ignored you most of your early life, that's something I'm never letting my child go through. That song just makes me so sad. *plays it again*

"At home, drawing pictures
Of mountain tops, with him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
The dead lay in pools of maroon below"

I remember my friend from childhood, her name was Lindsey. Well, she wasn't really a friend, but we role played together. Before then, I never role played with anyone, but myself. I'd get in a room alone, just pretending. A lot of kids did it, I'm sure, but I did it obsessively, and I was more than glad to share my obsession with someone else.


"Clearly I remember, picking on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
Ooh, but we unleashed a lion
Gnashed his teeth and bit the recess lady's breast
Oh, how can I forget
And he hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurtin, ooh dropped wide open
Just like the day
Oh, like the day I heard"

"And he hit me with a surprise left...." I remember when I hit someone for picking on me. WHAM. Right in the gut. Harder than I thought I could hit. The guy was like... down. And I just stood there, blinking. I felt bad, but at the same time, for a moment, I felt really good. I'd never hit anyone for picking on me before. The times someone did pick on me, I'd just sit there. I didn't speak when I was a kid, unless spoken to. I really was kind of weird, I guess.

"Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, who?"

No one remembered Jeremy, I guess. Maybe I should give Lindsey a ring or send a letter or something. I don't even know where she lives or anything.

I remember this time when I was going to third grade for the first time. I walked in, and there was a bunch of people, with their parents, playing with toys and stuff. I sat down, and, lol, I didn't play with anyone or anything since I hadn't asked. I always ask people and stuff.

Another time, they said for us to get in a line and stay quiet and not move, and I was so scared. I thought I was going to move or something, and they'd yell at me. That was like... fifth grade. And they started talking about colors and stuff, and how when you put red in white, that the white is permanently stained. They were talking about sinning and doing drugs and having sex. I was the oldest there, since it only went up to fifth grade. What did they expect from us? Nonetheless, I listened, and I nodded.

I'm so introspective today, and remniscent. I don't know why. Weird. I don't know... I just don't really like thinking about the past. It's not like it was horrible or anything, I just don't like thinking about it.

I sort of have a hatred for Kentucky. Not because of the place, but because of the people. It's weird to say, but they were all old fashioned and stuff, and because of that, everyone was so strict that I just... I never spoke. I was too scared. I probably never stood up to my mom until I was 12. That was two years of living in Florida.

It scares me, though. The children in Florida are too wild. I needed something really wild to change my fear of standing up, but just learning to be wild straight from birth isn't good. I'd never raise a child here. Children here tend to be way too rebellious and influenced in ways I don't exactly value or approve of. While there are good people here, it's too easy to be lost in the wave of idiots that I see.

I wouldn't raise a child in Kentucky either, though. Fuck no. I love my children, thank you. I don't have any, but I mean that I will unless they turn evil or something. And I probably still would love them.

I don't know. I think I'm a bit screwed up because of the way I was raised. I get the feeling that I lost the balance that I needed, as to when I should act and how much. I always try not to act, and thus when I do, I let everything out, because I think I need to act, and I yell and scream and curse, and fuck things over with people. I don't yet have the ability to act for lesser things in a lesser way, and thus I overreact when I'm feeling like standing up, and underreacting when I really need to say something.

Sometimes I don't even know anymore.

"At home, drawing pictures
Of mountain tops, with him on top
Lemon yellow sun
Arms raised in a V
The dead lay in pools of maroon below

Daddy didn't give attention
To the fact that mommy didn't care
King Jeremy the wicked
Oh, ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today

Clearly I remember, picking on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
Ooh, but we unleashed a lion
Gnashed his teeth and bit the recess lady's breast
Oh, how can I forget
And he hit me with a surprise left
My jaw left hurtin, ooh dropped wide open
Just like the day
Oh, like the day I heard
Daddy didn't give affection, no
And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear
King Jeremy the wicked
Oh, ruled his world

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in... class today...

Who...

Try to forget this (try to forget this)
Try to erase this (try to erase this)
From the blackboard...

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in, spoke in
Jeremy spoke in, spoke in...
Jeremy spoke in, class today...

Who...

Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, who?"

Now I'm listening to Jimmy by Tool. Maybe I have problems. Jimmy's about healing, though. It feels so foreign at the beginning, but it makes me feel a bit better by the end. It's kinda strange, the way I feel.

Instead of working on my NaNo, I've been typing this, but I feel better now.

"Hold your light, hold your light, hold your light where I can see..."

The scream just after that line is like a letting go of everything, before finally beginning to heal.

And for a moment, even though I'm not, I feel like I'm ok.

Vicarious is such an amazing song. The bells behind the bass conveying a feeling of innocense masking the darkness lurking so closely; the truth conveyed about our own 'human' nature; the voice whispering lyrics that speak one of the loudest truths.
I love his voice. If I was male hell, even now, I would give almost anything to have a voice like that. But even more I would give simply to have such an amazing mind.
Just a few notes.
Realized. "Lost Keys (Blame Hoffman)," a song title, is an LSD ref. That song and its second part are about an LSD trip involving aliens and humanity's supposed end.
"Rosetta Stoned." Second part's title. *laughs*

---

"Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky and
Fight over life, over blood, over air and light,
Over love, over sun, over another.
Fight for the time, for the one, for the rise and"

"Don’t these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around?"

I love this song. "Right in Two."

"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground"

Amazing song. But... the first piece of their lyrics I posted, is probably my favorite part of the song. Not only, but I love the way there's an instrumental division that startes out merely with this... cowbell? XD No idea. But it slowly goes faster... then the bass fades in with the guitar... THEN WHOO!!! Classic Tool. Then the part from before. Amazing. "Fight over life" favorite line of the whole song, because that's just it. We fight, for fucking PEACE. For things not worth fighting for. For disagreements in ideals. For anything.
I'm not really one to talk, and I know that.

---

His conveyance of things that should be common sense, but to some are not, is somewhat aweing. I don't care if that's not a word, it should be.
No... it's very aweing. Amazingly so.
Tool songs are so different from the norm. They make you think. I know people listen to music for their own reasons, and I respect that completely. But it's my reason, and I, personally, feel somewhat inspired and just a bit proud that I have at least some understanding of this amazing band's work.

Something I wanted to share.

-Chaos, End Transmission

Find your Celestial Choir

School shopping later today. I'm glad I'm going with George, that way my mom won't freak out if I want a black folder or a black pencil or a black pen. I'm keeping my green backpack for this year, with the air pack and all that. And I need new pens and pencils.

Fuckin' hell. Ticks and Leeches is the most kick ass song I've ever heard. Not the best, but the most kick ass. And the drumming, holy fucking hell. And the screaming. Fucking amazing. But, he can't actually sing it in concert. He threw his voice out for around three weeks after singing it in studio. Still, the song fucking owns. Fuck yesssss...

Before I post this. I love you, LJ. Firefox froze, and I was about to die. But I love you, LJ. Autosave. Omg, I love you. Now, onto what I had...

Wrote an Aoshi fanfic. Two, actually, but they're reeeaaaally short.

( Boy )

So, I thought of a meme.

Name up to five songs. Then, in any length, explain what the song means to you, and who the song(if anyone, and including media characters) reminds you of.

1. 10,000 Days - Tool
This song, I believe, is about a fallen savior who the speaker believes should demand their wings from God now that they have died. Probably written for Maynard's mom, who was, from what I hear, paralyzed for 27 years, or around 10,000 days. This song's also the second part of Wings For Marie, another amazing song. For some strange and unknown reason, it reminds me of Chaos. No idea why, lol.

2. Lateralus - Tool
This song is, in my eyes, about reaching for randomosity and breaking away from repetition and normality. About letting go of all the reasons that hold you back, in a sense, though that's just my own theories. Maynard's the only one who knows for sure, of course. It doesn't remind me of anyone in particular, however.

3. Prison Sex - Tool
I'm preeeetty sure that this song's about a prisoner being raped when he went to prison, then slowly coming 'full circle' and repeating the act. Unless 'shit, blood and cum' aren't involved in anal sex. However, the song is well written and angrily sung, with a fitting instrumental track behind it. This song reminds me of Saito solely because of RPGs and a yaoi fanfic I once read, involving Sanosuke and a prison.

4. Tear Away - Drowning Pool
Omg, woot. This song is pretty clear cut, the speaker caring only for himself in the beginning. As the song progresses, however, some parts seem to say that he's reconsidering this. ._. No subliminal messages as far as I can tell, either. XD I'm too used to Tool. This STILL reminds me of Chris. XD

5. Schism - Tool
This song, while believed by some to be a cry for the merging of Christianity into one whole again, can be applied to any sort of relationship which was whole at a time, but in which the pieces 'fall away'. The pure truth that this song conveys is that no relationship can survive without communication.
Within the song, there is one line that strikes a chord.
"Cold silence has a tendancy to
Atrophy any sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers
Between supposed brothers"
That is absolutely true. Another person on a board asked the others if they'd ever given someone the cold shoulder after an argument. Hell, who hasn't? And doing this can't heal the damage, it can only cause more.
This song conveys a lesson which some have had to learn the hard way.
Personally, it reminds me of Angrite for reasons that are somewhat obvious to anyone that knows me. Go ahead, groan.

Woo. End Meme.

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Looking back, it's amazing how much everyone I know's changed so much in the past 2-3 years, including myself.

I just got 10,000 Days, Tool's latest album. Holy hell, Vicarious is so fucking true. And if you deny it, you're a liar or a saint. And there are no mortal saints. Listening to it reminds me of Shishio, and his believe that every man is a demon, and that this world itself is Hell. ._. I just realized that I don't think they showed that part in the American part due to the religious overtones, with Houji's 'baptism.'

First off, ( AGE! )

Ok.

Dude. I've become recently addicted to Tool. Seriously. Anyone ever heard the song 'Prison Sex' by Tool? It's a weird song, but at the same time, I think it's so awesome. Though, as a warning, the lyrics are slightly explicit. Obviously. XD

So, just got back from spending the night at Josh's house. Pool = fun. And now, we have plans to make 1 million gp on RS, each. Which will go to creating the awesomest(word or no?) houses ever. I'm doing fishing + cooking, while he works on getting planks and stuff. He can't go on the internet yet, though, since he just moved over to the new place. I'd die if I couldn't. I hated even going on my mom's computer. Omg, 1 million, though... I've never done that before. I've never even gotten to 300k. WOOOOO. This is gonna take a while.
Life right now? It is good. No, great. I now have almost completely unlimited computer access, save the fact that my computer's damnation in a box. It hates me, no matter all I've done for it. ;-; I got a call from Full Sail yesterday. It was cool, but I've got a few more courses that I have to take, namely pre calc and physics. -_- Why the hell?! I'm good enough with math, anyways. I hope I get a D in Algebra 2, though, so I can retake it and ace it. Bundrage frackin' ruined my year. -_-;;
Dear god. Yesterday was the first time I saw Stargate in FOREVER. Like a FRACKIN' MONTH. Dear god. I missed seeing Dr. Jackson. XD WOOOOOOOO!!! It was an episode focused around Cameron, though. -_- Not that I hate him, or anything, but I'd rather've seen more of Daniel. -_- Though, the whole thing with Shanks and Browder(their actors) looking somewhat alike could bring up some pretty interesting incest plotlines.
Whoa, long entry, for me. But, whoa. I recently went to Metrocon, and I was wearing the |Y|A|O|I|: My anti-drug shirt I got there. XD Omg, I also recently got my first Flaw CD. That's just plain sad. For the longest time, they were my favorite band, and I didn't even have any of their CDs. I'm going to get ALL OF THEM! They OWNNNNNNNNNN. Seriously. Some of their songs could be heard on pop and soft rock stations(such as Wait for Me and Best I Am), but then you hear stuff like Medicate and Scheme and you think it's a screamer band. XD All in all, though, Flaw owns. It OWNS!!!
And I STILL want to RP. And I need to update MoC. XD

Hell, that's a kick ass song.
The song "Blood on the Ground" by Incubus frackin' rocks. Reminds me of Cuth and Aoshi, LOL. Ouch. But it also reminds me of the way me and Ang were after 8th grade, in a way... Which isn't 'lol.'
Maybe I should shut up about him, just for a while.

XD Nine Inch Nails. LOL. Teh step-rent got their CD, With Teeth, and he started playing some of their songs... XD I was standing right in front of the TV, and it starts out, "I wanna fuck you... I wanna taste you..." and he's just got this look on his face... I wanted to laugh right in his face. The prissy conservative. And then he said 'Closer to God' was a bad name for that song. He doesn't understand that God can be used as a symbol for heaven, which coincides with pleasure and ecstasy.

... I wanna RP. Bad. If anyone wants to as well, give me a shout and we can over AIM. Or, if you're a member of The Chaotic Knights RPG, we can RP there, too...

First off, the song '11AM' is one of the best fucking songs ever. I'll send it to whoever IMs me and asks for it. If MoC had an anime to it, I'd make the best fucking vid to that song EVER. Perhaps I'll write a songfic... Actually, think I will.
o_O I've noticed that most of the songfics I've written have had someone die. Or someone come close.
._. All of them, actually. I think.
OH! Not that one where-
Nvm. In teh future of MoC.
However! This one's going to be the best one of 'em all. Seriously.

Am I ranting?

Mm.
But this one's gonna be the best ever from me. Which means it'll suck anyways. Since I'm a fuck up. But, whatever. Summary... Must think of a summary... OH! CRAP! I can't write it because it involves something that happens in one of the later MoC sagas. Well, I can, but it'd be spoilery. So highlight for the spoiler: It basically involves the fact that Grey covered for Cuth when he tried to rape her, and Aoshi left her because he didn't know.

... I love that fucking song, I swear. And I love the poem, "Knight of the Sun."

o_O I just choked on a Tostito while trying to update! But now, I just remembered something else. I've taken a mental health day. I needed one. And I need to find someone to RP with.